Cheap Ways to Live Large in College

1. Trade blood, semen or eggs for cash
You won’t make a million dollars, but it’s a quick way to earn beer money.

2. Get a Costco membership
All your weekend meals can be consumed by eating Costco samples. Disguises for the repeat visits needed to get a complete meal may be necessary.

3. Go on a Top Ramen diet
I did not say this was the “healthy” way to live large, but you can buy packages in bulk that end up costing about $0.25 per meal. Hard to beat that. Warning: you make up for the savings later in healthcare costs.

4. Memorize the locations for All-You-Can-Eat restaurants
Get a full meal and line your pockets or purses with aluminum foil to bring home leftovers for the rest of the week.

5. Happy Hour discounts
Familiarize yourself with the happy hour menu and discounts available. Don’t be a sucker and pay full price. Retail price is for losers and underachievers. This is a good lesson to learn in college.

6. Learn to brew your own beer
There is an initial investment involved here, but you could make tons of money selling to other kids in the dorm or frats and also save yourself a pretty penny by supplying yourself with your own stash of beer to consume as-needed.

7. Start a bike chop-shop
Carry tools with you everywhere you go. When you see a bike locked up and unsupervised, dismantle it and remove the most valuable parts to later sell on eBay.

8. Sell your stuff and the stuff drunk girls or guys leave in your apartment on eBay
Everything must go! Let’s be honest: that girl or guy was too drunk to remember where they left their phone, anyway.

9. Befriend the rich kids
They need to impress people and are more likely to buy rounds when you’re out and about. Also, they may get you a job once you graduate.

10. Encourage people to dare you to do things for money
“I’ll eat the salt packet for $20.” Get creative.

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